A shower is a gift-giving party in the bride’s honor — or both partners, in a couples shower. It should feel relaxed and generous, not like an obligation.
Who hosts and pays
Traditionally friends or the maid of honor; today family members, colleagues or several people together often host. Whoever hosts usually pays.
Who to invite
Close friends and family who are also invited to the wedding. Work showers are the exception: colleagues can host one without wedding invitations.
Themes and format
Brunch, garden party, tea party, a cooking class, a picnic, or a “stock the bar” couples shower. Keep it to the length of a long lunch.
A simple three-hour plan
| Time | What happens |
|---|---|
| 0:00 | Guests arrive; drinks and a welcome |
| 0:30 | Food |
| 1:15 | One game or activity |
| 1:45 | Gift opening (or a display of gifts) |
| 2:30 | Dessert, photos and goodbyes |
Invitation wording
Please join us for a bridal shower honoring Maya Collins Sunday, the ninth of March, at eleven o’clock Laura’s home · 12 Oak Lane Registry details on the couple’s wedding website
Games that aren’t cringe
- A quiz about the couple, with answers recorded ahead of time
- Advice or date-night cards for the couple
- A recipe card collection
- A simple bingo during gift opening
Gifts and thanks
Guests usually choose from the registry. The bride (or couple) opens gifts, someone records who gave what, and thank-you notes go out within a few weeks. The thank-you note writer helps.
Etiquette for guests
Bring a gift from the registry or something thoughtful in a similar spirit; spend what feels comfortable. If you can’t attend, sending a card or a small gift is kind but not required. A shower gift is separate from the wedding gift.
General information, not legal, medical or financial advice. Confirm details with your vendors, venue, officiant and local authorities.
Questions people ask
Who plans the bridal shower?
Usually the maid of honor, bridesmaids, friends or family — anyone close who offers.
Do you give a gift at a bridal shower and the wedding?
Traditionally yes: a smaller gift at the shower and a main gift for the wedding.
What is a couples shower?
A shower that celebrates both partners, with guests from both sides.
How much should you spend on a bridal shower gift?
Whatever you’re comfortable with. Many guests spend less on the shower gift than on the wedding gift.
Can the bride’s mother host the shower?
Traditionally close family didn’t host, to avoid seeming to ask for gifts. Today it is common and perfectly fine.
