The events, in order
| Event | Timing | Typical host | Who’s invited |
|---|---|---|---|
| Engagement party | 1–3 months after the proposal | Either family, friends or the couple | Only people who’ll be invited to the wedding |
| Bridal or couples shower | 2–6 months before | Friends, the wedding party, family | Close friends and family (all must be wedding guests) |
| Bachelor/bachelorette | 1–3 months before | Maid of honor, best man | The wedding party and close friends |
| Rehearsal dinner | The night before | Groom’s family (traditionally), anyone | Wedding party, family, officiant, partners |
| Welcome party | The night before or two | The couple or families | Often all out-of-town guests |
| After-party | After the reception | The couple or friends | Anyone still standing |
| Day-after brunch | The morning after | Family or the couple | Family, wedding party, travelers |
Showers
A shower is about gifts and good company. Keep it to two or three hours, choose one or two activities rather than a full program of games, and send thank-you notes within a few weeks. Couples showers — where both partners and their friends attend — are increasingly common. See the bridal shower guide.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties
The kindest plans are the ones everyone can afford. Share costs early, offer an optional add-on for extras, and plan something for people who don’t drink. A weekend away is lovely; so is a dinner and a movie night. Read bachelor and bachelorette party etiquette.
The rehearsal dinner
The rehearsal gets everyone comfortable with the ceremony; the dinner is a chance to thank people and to give toasts that might not suit the reception. Keep it relaxed, finish at a reasonable hour, and let the couple get some sleep. Our rehearsal dinner guide covers who pays, who’s invited and what to say.
Wedding weekends
Welcome drinks, a family lunch, the wedding, an after-party and a farewell brunch can make travel worth it for guests. Label optional events clearly on your website, share an itinerary, and remember guests are paying for travel and time off. See planning a wedding weekend.
Who hosts, who pays
| Event | Usually hosted by | Guests invited |
|---|---|---|
| Engagement party | Parents, friends or the couple | People invited to the wedding |
| Shower | Friends, attendants or relatives | Close friends and family (or colleagues for a work shower) |
| Bachelor & bachelorette | The wedding party | Close friends |
| Rehearsal dinner | Often the groom’s family, or the couple | Wedding party, family, officiant |
| Welcome party & brunch | The couple or a family | Out-of-town guests or everyone |
Cultural celebrations
Many traditions are multi-day by design. South Asian weddings, for example, may include a mehndi, sangeet or dholki night, a haldi or mayun ceremony, the wedding itself and a reception or walima. Our guide to South Asian wedding events explains each for couples and guests.
