If you are a guest
Reply through the requested RSVP method and include the details the hosts ask for. If the invitation is unclear about a guest, children, or an event, ask rather than assume. Check the dress code, venue surfaces, travel, and timing before choosing what to wear.
- Tell the hosts promptly if your plans change.
- Share dietary or access requirements through the agreed channel.
- Follow the couple’s photography and social-sharing preferences.
If you are in the wedding party
Ask about the full commitment before agreeing to purchases or extra events. It is reasonable to discuss a budget privately and suggest a simpler alternative. On the day, focus on the role you accepted rather than trying to fix everything.
- Confirm clothing, travel, accommodation, and optional-event costs.
- Ask for the final arrival time and a named contact.
- Offer a specific task: collect an item, check a room, or help someone travel.
If you are family
A contribution is most helpful when the amount, timing, and expectations are clear. Share the traditions that matter to you and ask the couple which they want to include. Avoid inviting additional people or committing to suppliers on their behalf.
- Explain offers as options, with room for the couple to decline.
- Use an agreed guest-list process rather than informal promises.
- Choose one person to communicate each family’s practical questions.
If you are hosting
Guests need enough information to make a comfortable decision about attending. Include what is provided, what they arrange themselves, transport details, and how to ask for help. Give people a private way to raise requirements without announcing them to the whole group.
- Explain outdoor surfaces and expected walking distances.
- Share the ceremony start time separately from transport departure times.
- Offer a day-of contact who is not one of the people getting married.
“I would love to help with one part of the day. Would collecting the flowers or checking the getting-ready room be useful?”
