Kids in the wedding party are often the moment everyone remembers — especially when things don’t go exactly to plan. A little preparation keeps it charming.
Ages
Children around 3–8 usually understand the job and enjoy it. Toddlers can walk with an older sibling, be pulled in a wagon, or be carried by a parent. Older children (9–14) can be junior bridesmaids or groomsmen.
What they do
- Flower girl: walks just before the bride, scattering petals (check the venue allows them) or carrying a small posy.
- Ring bearer: carries a pillow or box — usually with replica rings. The real rings stay with the best man or maid of honor.
Make it easy
Outfits
Choose comfortable, weather-appropriate clothes and shoes they have worn before. Pack a spare outfit, a cardigan or jacket, and wipes.
Timing
Keep their part short. Take their photos early, before they get tired, and let their parents decide when they’ve had enough.
Plan B
If a child freezes, let them sit with their parent. Nobody minds, and the photos are still sweet.
Other ways to include children
- Readers or ushers for older children
- A “flower grandma” or grandparents walking together
- A pet ring bearer with a handler, if the venue allows it
- Handing out programs or bubbles
General information, not legal, medical or financial advice. Confirm details with your vendors, venue, officiant and local authorities.
Questions people ask
What age should a flower girl be?
Usually about 3–8 years old.
Does the ring bearer carry the real rings?
Usually not — they carry replicas, and the real rings stay with the best man or maid of honor.
Do you need both a flower girl and a ring bearer?
No. Include whichever children you’d like, or neither.
Should we give the flower girl and ring bearer a gift?
A small gift is a lovely thank-you: a book, a toy or a keepsake from the day.
