An engagement party is a chance for your families and friends to meet and celebrate before the planning begins in earnest. It is optional. If you have one, keep it relaxed.
Who hosts
Traditionally the bride’s parents hosted. Today either family, close friends or the couple can host — sometimes more than one party in different cities. If two families live apart, a party in each place is lovely.
Timing and format
Most engagement parties happen one to three months after the proposal. A backyard barbecue, a dinner at a restaurant, cocktails at home or brunch all work. Two to three hours is plenty.
The guest list rule
Only invite people you expect to invite to the wedding. Being invited to an engagement party and then left off the wedding list hurts. If the wedding will be small, keep the party small, or skip it.
Gifts
Gifts aren’t required. Some guests bring a card or a small token; the main gift comes with the wedding. Don’t include registry information on engagement party invitations.
Easy engagement party ideas
- A backyard barbecue or garden party
- Brunch at a favorite restaurant
- Cocktails and small plates at home
- A picnic in a park with lawn games
- Two smaller parties if your families live in different cities
A simple plan
Toasts
The host usually welcomes everyone and toasts the couple; the couple can reply with a short thank-you. Keep each under three minutes.
Invitation wording
Please join us for an engagement party celebrating Maya Collins and Daniel Reyes Saturday, the fourth of May, from two until five The Collins home · 12 Oak Lane Kindly reply to Laura by the twentieth of April
General information, not legal, medical or financial advice. Confirm details with your vendors, venue, officiant and local authorities.
Questions people ask
Who pays for the engagement party?
The host. That might be parents, friends or the couple.
Do you bring a gift to an engagement party?
It isn’t expected. A card or small token is a kind gesture if you wish.
How long after the engagement is the party?
Usually one to three months after the proposal.
Do you have to have an engagement party?
No. It is entirely optional. Many couples skip it or combine it with another family gathering.
