Proposals & getting engaged: Asking for a blessing

Asking a partner’s parents for their blessing is a tradition some families value and others find old-fashioned. If it matters to your partner or their family, a short private conversation is a kind gesture.

The key points

Ask your partner’s views first, without spoiling the surprise
Speak to both parents, or whoever raised them
Frame it as a blessing, not permission
Keep it short, sincere and in person if you can

What to say

“I love your daughter and plan to ask her to marry me. Your blessing would mean a great deal to us both.”

When families are complicated

Skip it, or ask the person who matters most. There is no single right way.

Read more about asking for a blessing

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Quick answers

Should I ask her parents before proposing?

Many people do, as a courtesy or for a blessing. It depends on your families and your partner’s wishes.

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How do we handle divorced parents at the wedding?

Tell each parent the plan yourselves, give each a role and a table of honor, and seat them apart if that is kinder. A coordinator can quietly manage the day.

Planning & timelineAll questions

Should parents pay for the wedding?

There is no obligation. Many parents help; many couples pay for everything themselves.

Budget & who paysAll questions

Where should parents sit at the reception?

Close to the couple, often at family tables beside the head table.

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